Royal Bloody Antwerp!

Well folks,

This little blog - or blogette if you please - finds me pissed and more than a wee bit pissed off (if you’re American and reading this – yes there is a difference).

The reason for my angst? Royal Antwerp “Football” Club. The more observant amongst you out there will have noticed the quotes on the word “Football”. Believe me, based on what I witnessed this evening, the quotes are bloody well deserved.

The night started off in high spirits, a few of us meeting at the “stadium” (and yes – these quotes are deserved as well) an hour before kick off to indulge in a few pre-game beers. With hindsight, I would have been better asking for crack cocaine.

The match was against FC Roselare and was a Belgian second division playoff. The winner of the playoffs gaining promotion to the Belgian first - and therefore premier – division. The playoffs operate as a mini-league four teams, with each team playing each other twice.

Having already played the first match at the weekend against Roselare, and losing 1-0, this provided Antwerp an immediate chance for revenge and in order to keep the dream of promotion alive, a win was very much required.

I have re-read the past two paragraphs and think in no more than half a dozen lines, I have managed to convey the situation in an informative and succinct manner. I wish somebody had done the same to the Antwerp players.

Jesus – they were terrible!

They couldn’t pass wind, never mind a ball, they couldn’t tackle a fish supper, each player to a man seemed to possess the first touch of a baby elephant, they couldn’t cross themselves, never mind the ball and don’t even get me started on the shooting. It looked like they were kicking a plastic bag full of wet towels around the pitch.

And to cap it all off, their bald eagle of a centre half looked like he had a head shaped like a 50 pence coin, such was the control he had over where the ball went once he headed it.

I was not impressed.

But the thing that galled most was the complete lack of effort from the team. Apart from the first 20 minutes of the second half, there was nothing from them – in this – what was basically a “do or die” match

It’s not the first time that I’ve seen them, in fact I go several times a season but I would seriously consider going back. It’s hard to get wisdom teeth extracted every other week, but if that’s what it takes to avoid the sheer torture that I experienced last night, then it will be worth it.

Belgium is Boring? Royal Bloody Antwerp is Mind-Numbing!