No girly can resist a man who looks good in Speedos

OK Folks,

Summer has arrived and we’d better act fast before it – ahhh shit too late….

I am reminded of a drunken conversation with a woman that I had in a bar (the conversation not the woman) about 3 months ago, possibly more.

Not the first conversation of this nature that I've had and I'm sure not the last - by “drunken conversation” I mean I was the one who was drunk and she was the one conversing.

Now don’t get me wrong – I love this woman to bits – and I’m certainly not going to embarrass her by naming her – just in case this blog really does start to gain momentum and she would actually read this.

She’s Flemish and quite famous around these parts, so her reputation could be tarnished and I wouldn’t want that. If there’s any reputation tarnishing to be done around here, it’ll be me own.

(BTW - have I just attempted to name drop without actually dropping a name? What a bizarre thing to do - and sort of defeats the purpose really, don’t you think?)

Anyway - for you see - drunk I may well have been – it was about 03:00 on a Friday night / Saturday morning, so I feel that it is my right as a human being - nay my moral obligation to be in such a state of inebriation – but I can still recall the crux of the conversation.

“This summer is to be one of the hottest on record in Belgium.” Famous Belgian Lady said to me.

Remember folks, this announcement was made to me over THREE months ago.

This was not the inane ramblings of somebody who was pausing between bouts of relentless howling at the moon. This lady is in her late forties, never drinks or takes drugs (at least not anytime I’ve offered).

So I did the only thing I could do - I took her for her word.

Actually - this isn't entirely true – “experts” had made the prediction and this lady was just repeating what she had heard. But still – it was good enough for me.

I settled down to my beer and dreamt of walks along the long, luxurious sands of Antwerp’s River Schelde (*) with my loved one(**) by my side.

And now, as we approach the last weekend in May, we find ourselves in the middle of a mini heat-wave (does that make it a ‘heat-ripple’ I wonder?) and I’m thinking to myself “This is it – the hottest summer on record is about to start! – time to dig out the old speedos!”

So I go to and check the 10-day forecast for Antwerp:

"30°C maximum yesterday", "31°C maximum today" but then – hang on a minute! – "Sat. 26°C"…."Sun. 21°C with showers".

But it gets worse: By Wednesday, we’re down to "17°C and rain".

What’s happening?!

It's no wonder I’m running around Belgium at the moment with the heaviest head cold I’ve ever experienced (Just how can one head generate so much phlegm?)

My normally wind and rain-battered Irish body is not cut out for this.

Either we go to hot temperatures or we don’t bother. None of this conflict between “YES – let’s REALLY go for it !!” and “oh no……perhaps we shouldn’t”

Belgium, STOP IT! - You’re doing my sinuses in!!


(*) = Like I said - it was a dream. I wouldn't send the Man United team training on the beach of the Schelde, let alone take a romantic summer's walk along it.